We, the undersigned, would like to unequivocally state our concern over the growing usage of mobile internet devices (namely, tablets and phones) in the homesteads of our human companions. Disturbingly, the usage of these devices has caused a drastic decrease in the amount of time spent in office chairs in the home, and concurrently, have decreased the amount of time that our human companions have produced suitable lap space.
Especially as the time of year sees the temperatures drop, we propose a compromise and suggest aforementioned human companions consider large laptop computers for their mobile internet needs; these most frequently require usage on couches or tables, thus creating the much needed lap space, and also provide the side benefits of generating excess heat on and around said laps.
Pets Against Mobile Computing
(Welkin, Foster, Charlie, Dante, Sweetie)